Jokes and facts about the UK
You are listening to the unofficial British national anthem- Jerusalem(Midi)
Facts and jokes for the benefit of non-Britons.
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An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whisky. He hands the bottle to the Irish man, whom exclaims,'' may the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The Irish man then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Englishman, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here!''
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At an auction in Manchester a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"
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Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door
Ross monument and Edinburgh castle.
This is the Ross monument and Edinburgh castle in heart of Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland.
Basic facts about the United Kingdom of Great Britian and Northern Ireland.
Land area:
243,000 sq km (93,000 sq miles).
Coastline:
12,429 km
Length:
Just under 1,000 km (600 miles) from North to South
Width:
About 480 Km from east to west
Land use:
arable land:25%
permanent crops:0%
permanent pastures:46%
forests and woodland:10%
other:19% (1993 est.)
Natural resources:
coal, petroleum, natural gas, tin, limestone, iron ore, salt, clay, chalk, gypsum, lead, silica, arable land
Capital City:
Capital of the UK and of England is London. Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland. Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland. Cardiff is the capital of Wales.
Main Cities:
London, Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Cardiff
Official Language:
English
Main Religion:
Christianity
Highest mountain:
Ben Nevis in Scotland, at 1,343m (4,406 ft) above sea level.
Lowest Point:
The lowest point in the UK is the Fenlands, which is 4 m below sea level.
Longest river:
The Severn, 322 km long, which rises in central Wales and flows through Shrewsbury, Worcester and Gloucester in England to the Bristol Channel
London's population:
7,172,036
Population of UK:
about 59,647,790 (July 2001 est.)
England's climate:
Mild, normally not going much below zero even in the depths of winter, and never much above 25 degrees Celcius in summer. Most of the time it is between 10 and 20 degrees Celcius.
Currency:
pound sterling
Electricity in England is 240 Volts AC (50Hz).
All the coins currently used in the UK.
| £ 0.01 | £ 0.02 | £ 0.05 |
|---|---|---|
 |
 |
 |
| Portcullis | Prince of Wales feathers | Crowned thistle |
| £ 0.10 | £ 0.20 | £ 0.50 |
 |
 |
 |
| Crowned lion. | Crowned Tudor Rose. | Britannia and Lion |
| £ 1.00 | £ 2.00 | £ 2.00 edge |
 |
 |
The edge lettering features the quote "Standing on the Shoulders of Giants" by |
| Royal Coat of Arms* | Design representing
technological development |
Big Ben.
The Clock Tower of the palace of Westminster better known
as Big Ben which is the name of the bell inside.
Stonehenge.
Stonehenge is near Avebury, Wiltshire, England
and is over 5000 years old.
